Curbside: SOS In The Snow

In Curbside writing SOS in the snow is considered graffiti and criminal
charges may apply. If SOS is written anywhere in the snow it must be
destroyed immediately. Seriously, Save Our Ship isn’t something that
makes sense out in a winter field somewhere. If the culprits are found
who made the graffiti they will be detained for questioning and if they
are found frozen they might be interrogated in a hospital. I point this
out simply because when pilots in BC notice SOS in the snow and
nothing happens I feel there is a serious problem. When people have
been picked up the SOS signal should be destroyed to prevent further
searches of an area where no one is. Also GPS systems should be
rented out to people who are going to places outside normal skiing hills.
With dogs and GPS looking for people maybe help will come faster.
Ignoring an SOS signal should also be a criminal offence. At least it is
in Curbside.

No time to write about foster kids and parents.

11:28 PM

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Feb. 21st 2012

I think skiiers should have GPS, spray paint, flare gun, and an air pocket if they don’t use regular ski hills.

Curbside: The Pussywhipped Mall

There’s a mall idea being passed around Curbside lately. It has the working
title of The Pussywhipped Mall. Yup, it’s a mall where women buy stuff for
men. Stuff that would make their man cute. Imagine women who dress their
dogs and paint their houses once every four years and get new furniture
every ten. The men in their lives have to have appropriate looks and
appropriate sports and other hobbies. The men are more or less pets for the
women. What to eat, how to walk, what to say, etc. The mall is basically
things for men appear to be extensions of their mother or significant other.
Wearing slightly less female clothes to make them just enough male as to not
be thought of as female. And tanning booths and male perfumes and male
blush etc to make men appear owned by women and not quite gay is the
look I think they’ll be going for.

I think it’s cool to go shopping with someone you respect regardless of sex
or relationship. I also believe that the one who will be wearing the clothes
better at least like the clothes to some degree. Buying something you will be
seen wearing should say something about the person wearing it and what
function they are wearing it for. I might have to write a follow-up to this
one if the mall actually comes into being. So far the bill is being flipped
around and discreetly misplaced, but someday a final verdict must be
reached.

Finally; what’s the deal with inter-species romantic relationships. I mean
the Chicken Little movie and the Bee Movie, as well as many others.
What’s really going on here anyway? I guess it’s ok for two different
species to get together but not two of the same sex, or two people of
different races.

9:28 AM

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Feb. 21st 2012

The mall idea is now dead and in it’s place there will be a retirement condo. Yup, that’s right three years of nothing it takes a long time for things to get built here with contracts and materials always going up.

The Sesame Streets

Two cops in a bar on Sesame Street.

Cop 1: Man, you got to get over this. You know, it isn’t your fault. It’s a different world now.

Cop 2: I should have done things differently. I mean maybe if I…

Cop 1: Look. The guy was moving around wildly and he was definitely concealing things and when he said Allah, you got carried away.

Cop 2: I know, but  I should have let him finish saying, “Allah! Peanut Butter Sandwiches!” I would have known he was a magician.

Cop 1: Don’t worry, we told everyone he was carrying a gun and was feeling suicidal.

Cop 2: Maybe in a few weeks I can go back on patrol.

Cop 1: Nope. Sorry, but the guy was the Captain’s drug dealer. He was a master concealer afterall. When you get better you’ll be doing surveillance on Peewee’s Playhouse. The rumor is he’s going to move into the Sesame Streets.

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Aaah, someday I’ll compile all my Sesame Streets stories…Yeh, right?!

4:46 PM

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Banks: Making the world a better place!

Segements from, “What Cooked The Global Economy” by James Lieber

“The heart of darkness was the AIG Financial Products (AIGFP) office in London, where a large proportion of the derivatives were written. AIG had placed this unit outside American borders, which meant that it would not have to abide by American insurance reserve requirements. In other words, the derivatives clerks in London could sell as many products as they could write—even if it would bankrupt the company.

The president of AIGFP, a tyrannical super-salesman named Joseph Cassano, certainly had the experience. In the 1980s, he was an executive at Drexel Burnham Lambert, the now-defunct brokerage that became the pivot of the junk-bond scandal that led to the jailing of Michael Milken, David Levine, and Ivan Boesky.

During the peak years of derivatives trading, the 400 or so employees of the London unit reportedly averaged earnings in excess of a million dollars a year. They sold “protection”—this Runyonesque term was favored—worth more than three times the value of parent company AIG. How could they have not known that they were putting at risk the largest insurer in the world and all the businesses and individuals that it covered?”

“People still seem surprised to read that hedge principals have raked in billions of dollars in a single year. They shouldn’t be. These subprime-time players knew how to score. The scam bled AIG white. In mid-September, when it was on the ropes, AIG received an astonishing $85 billion emergency line of credit from the Fed. Soon, that was supplemented by another $67 billion. Much of that money, to use the government’s euphemism, has already been “drawn down.” Shamefully, neither Washington nor AIG will explain where the billions went. But the answer is increasingly clear: It went to counterparties who bought derivatives from Cassano’s shop in London.”

“Secrecy shrouds the bailout. The 21 banks that each received more than $1 billion from the Fed won’t disclose how, or even if, they’re lending it, which hardly quells fears of hoarding. The Treasury says it can’t force disclosure because it took only preferred (non-voting) stock in exchange for the money.

If anything, the Fed had been less candid. It stonewalls requests to reveal the winners (mainly banks and corporations) of $1.5 trillion in loans, as well as the securities it received as collateral. A Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) suit to obtain this information by Bloomberg News has been rebuffed by the Fed, which insists that a loophole in FOIA exempts it. Bloomberg will probably lose the case, but at least it’s trying to probe the black hole of bailout money. Of course, Barack Obama could tell the Fed to release the information, plus generally open the bailout to public eyes. That would be change that we could believe in.”

6:49 PM

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Feb. 21st 2012

Don’t worry AIGFP is still doing great!!

http://www.barrack.com/Featured-Case-AIG.html

“In In re American International Group, Inc. 2008 Securities Litigation, Barrack Rodos & Bacine serves as Co-Lead Counsel on behalf of the Lead Plaintiff, The State Treasurer of Michigan, as custodian of the Michigan Public School Employees Retirement System, the State Employees’ Retirement System, the Michigan State Police Retirement System, and the Michigan Judges Retirement System (“SMRS”). This securities fraud case seeks compensation for American International Group (“AIG”) investors who lost tens of billions of dollars after the full extent of the risks arising from AIG’s exposure to the U.S. residential housing market, including subprime mortgage debt, was revealed, leading to a massive liquidity crisis for AIG that would have forced it into bankruptcy proceedings were it not for the $85 billion U.S. Government bailout announced on September 17, 2008.”

20% Family (food, house stuff, basic bills) 2011 Family was 65%

20% Ent, Edu (movies, textbooks, schooling excercise your mind) Ent ect 5%

10% Work Related (transit to work, etc) 8%

30% Mortgage, Rent, Car (all those things that you have loans for) 12%

10% Health (Insurance and medical and physical) 10%

So, let’s just say 30K a year

$3000 Savings, I usually blow this on a trip 1, 500

$6000 Family, I’m trying to bring this down 19, 500

$6000 Ent, I think that’s about right education-wise 1, 500

$3000 Work Related, Car insurance, plates, license, gas about
right 2, 400

$9000 Mortgage, About a $112,500 house approx. I didn’t factor in property tax. 3, 600 heh 90K house that not good

$3000 Health 1, 500

Hmm, will try to check back in a year and see if this is pretty much in line…Pretty sad that my income hasn’t really moved since 2009.

Curbside Commercials

Commercial One

Voice Over Guy: Here at Campbel’s Soup Chris Brown, a black man questioned why we put so much salt in our soups. So we took out 9 teaspoons out of each can. Chris Brown, a black man wanted to know how much salt that was in a month’s worth of soup production. We like Chris Brown. And because we like him we stuck him in a room and filled it with salt. We locked him in the room for a week. Cause we like Chris Brown. And because he’s black. And if anyone ever questions any of our decisions at Campbel’s we will lock them in a room and pour salt in it and leave them there for a week. But only because we like them.

Commercial Two

Voice Over Guy: We’ve discovered a way to know the precise second a woman gets pregnant. (Hearing a man and woman moaning slightly blurred and slightly out of camera.)

The woman on bed: Oh! Oh! Ooooh!!! I’m pregnant!!!! Oh my God!!!

Guy on bed: Um, I just remembered I’m supposed to be fishing with my friends. I’ll call you!
(Guy jumps out of bed and dresses as he runs down flight of stairs. Meanwhile saying he’ll catch a fish for their new baby and maybe go on a long trip to get something extra special.)

Voice Over Guy: Yes, technology does make things better! We also have new products for single unemployed women with six kids to impregnate them with eight more kids! We’re still working on technology that will force men to stick with these women. Pink prison ankle bracelets with extra tech to force them to go to stores and buy diapers, tampons, etc is in the works.

Commercial Three

Voice Over Guy: Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. While the world faces it’s greatest economic recession in recent history no matter what country you live in it’s solely dependent on the US (not China). So please donate money to big businesses and rich people. Sure these might be the same people that messed up the world and are not actually doing anything to help the world, but maybe if you treat them like a charity you’ll get a tax rebate and they’ll…give you food stamps? It’s not up to the rich and the government to regulate themselves or to loan money to banks etc. It’s up to the lower middle class to do all the heavy lifting. In order to stay subsisting you have to be willing to give up your dreams of sending your kids to college or any post-high school education. Unless that education is received in a terrorist run country like Iraq.

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Commerical Three kinda bugs me a bit cause I see those commercials about how to pay less taxes and obviously paying more taxes is the only real way of propping up businesses…Or do what they did in Scandinavia and South Korea. Sell the country to the mob for five years.

Rihanna, hope you get better babe! Just sad, real sad.

Traphik – The Valentine’s Day Song

10:50 AM

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Curbside: Exercise

So my friend is a little overweight and his girlfriend knows a thing about tech. She noticed that he, like most guys likes a bit of porn. She also noticed that most guys these days are a little overweight. So with the cooperation of the guys from Girls Gone Wild she created her own gym. You start off having to register with a card and put it into each machine. At first it’s chunky women you see before you but as you exercise more the women become hotter and wear less. Some videos are like good ole Mel B, with a bit of humor and articulation. Kind of expanding your mind while you exercise. It’s sort of a subliminal way of getting inside men’s heads while they’re captivated by gorgeous women. Ok, was going to put on another youtube vid, but…Well, go on Youtube and check out Hot Chicks Ball Exercise 1…Nuff said…

2:06 PM

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Curbside TV: Cops Where are they now special

Personally, I’d like to see every ten years a “Where Are They Now” special from Cops. You know, she was a prostitute and now ten years later she’s…Or he used to beat people up and now he’s…He used to be a deadbeat dad and now he’s…I think this show would do a lot for people’s self esteem. Either they can think I’m so much better than them, or if they can improve their lives to that point then maybe I can too.

10:35 PM

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Curbside: Comments

I was drunk with some friends and we were laughing about how weird the world would be with gay and lesbian superheroes. I mean a superhero or supervillain gets distracted on the job and forgets to fight crime or do a crime and become overtly sexual with their prey or predator. I mean such a thing can really change the dynamic of good and evil. The superhero who says they’ll call and never do. The supervillain who always wants to go on a second date. Of course I no longer read a lot of comics so I have no idea if sexual relationships are finding their way into these things, but I am getting kind of curious about this stuff. From my previous blog I think you can get the idea that a relationship can be changed by outside forces and how those changes can help you decide when you can bring up sensitive topics. A very small part of Curbside is about relationships. I mean there’s a crime happening every 10 min. when do you just say I’ll let these crimes go. Then you have your day job to make money from. It’s about using your time wisely. How much money do I need? How can I improve myself physically and mentally? How do I maintain my relationships with friends and family? How do I pursue my ideal happiness. Yeah, Curbside is a multitude of things, but mostly it’s just something that I doubt will truly get off the ground. As of yet I don’t have any gay or lesbian characters. Mostly because I honestly don’t care who is or is not having sex. I think most of my characters are just too busy to bother or aren’t looking for anything long term. I’ll check into the Asian history of Curbside and see if I’ve written that story down or not. Then I’ll probably try to write more about the Harry part of the story.

Minty The Assasin Trailer

Perhaps this answers my questions. Perhaps.

10:53 AM

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Feb. 16th 2012

Hmm, forgot about this movie http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nEw6hJ59UU

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

….

..Untitled .. His teeth were multi ethnic. They ranged from red, black, brown and yellow. A couple might even have been white and off white. His job was shit. His boss would yell at him from start to finish everyday he worked. There was no joy. No completing the job, no salvation, no rewards. The dull hum of monotony. The waiting for retirement, or was it waiting to be let out of the prison that he had found himself in? To quit his job was a risk, how fast could he find something else, would it support him financially? Would it be more enjoyable? If he had a woman would it make his life more worthwhile, or would it just mean someone to yell at him when he got home? He lost his license after too many DWI’s and spends every night in the pub drinking away….He no longer knows just what it was he was trying to forget. A past? A girlfriend? Or was it courage, or fearlessness? Something was boiling inside him and no amount of alcohol would continue to drown it. A new kind of sobriety was lurking at the bottom of whiskey and told the bartender to give him the bottle.  After  chugging  the  whiskey he smashed the  bottle on the  floor just to hear the sound of breaking glass. He ran to the bathroom and purged himself of the foul liquid and thoughts that were once cloudy became sharp and undeniable. It was time to change his life. He paid for his drink and a tip for the broken glass. He hit the midnight gym and started working out. He was getting out of the rut and someday soon he’d stop taking shit from his boss and beat him to a bloody pulp and find another job. If no one hired him he’d start his own business. Anything was better than living in hell waiting for retirement. ************************ Jan. 2009 It’s been awhile since I wrote anything. Stuff going down. Something wrong with this blog post. Something I can’t figure out. Amazing how little things change. Well, guess that’s all I feel like writing on here for now.

10:21 PM

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Feb. 12th 2012

Yeah, I’m still planning on working on some of these and see what I come up with.

11 Dec 2008

Curbside: Nightclubbing

I’ve never been a player, never really went to the nightclubs. I’m the guy who picks up girls with a silly comment in a shopping mall, or work/school environment. I’ve been dating this girl for awhile and she seems to have phobias about going to certain places and I got no problems avoiding them when I’m with her. However recently guys have been saying hi to her while we’re walking around and she keeps telling me she doesn’t know these guys. She doesn’t know any of them. At first I believed her, I mean I’ve been mistaken for people from time to time, but then these guys would come up to me when she wasn’t around. They’d mention several quirks of hers and give me advice on how to deal with some of the things that got them in trouble and how they dealt with pet peaves they had with her. I can’t really say I’ve been with inexperienced girls, but I am wondering if she’s suddenly relationship curious or something. Of course life is all just trial and error anyway. I’m enjoying what I got and as always enjoying it to the fullest.

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I forget just how I was going to end this post when I originally started it. Uh, why does it say I started this on Dec. 11 2008 I was sure I started this this week? Whatever. Checked out www.missjia.com she says black people don’t get their vids promoted on youtube unless they’re filled with hate. Will check that out and see if it’s true.

3:11 AM

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